falling off the wagon hurts

Soo... hey guys...

It's been a while, huh?

Yeah... well, bec and I took a little hiatus and ate and drank to our hearts desires, and now we are paying for it...

You know, you lose about 15 pounds and you think you can do anything! Like eat 6 cupcakes, blame it on your period, and wear sweatpants for 3 months.

So the logic is off a little... But you know what, when you fall off the horse, you take a few minutes, dust yourself off, and find a different freaking horse because you can't trust that one anymore.
But seriously, when you slip up on a goal of yours, that doesn't mean you can't take a minute and figure out a new game plan. And that is where Becca and I are right now.

So what is our game plan? Fall is a whole different animal than summer. Summer, you can run around outside, drink corona, and eat chips and salsa... so you find a lite beer, you run around, and you make homemade salsa and put it on grilled chicken.

But fall? What to do about fall? There is oktoberfest, thanksgiving, cold weather, big sweaters, and a busier schedule. So what do we do? Do we quit drinking the yummy stuff? Do we leave the dog in the crate... again... to go to the gym? How do we figure this one out??

Honestly, we could use your help?

xoxo
chubby girl

Fat Pants

Welp, it’s about that time again. I wrote about this in the old blog and I’m going to write about it again because it is still a big struggle that I have.

You know, when you grow up being bigger than everyone else you kind of figure that is just who you are. You will always be the kid who has to sit out because running around makes you incredible tired.  You adapt and play those sports with little to no running (softball/volleyball) not that they don’t take real athleticism, but you can get away being slow on the softball field if you can hit it really far.

Basically, you get used to being heavy. You get used to hating your body. You get used to crying at the mall every time you try on a pair of pants. Well… atleast I did.

So again, you adapt. You buy the bigger size, you don’t go to that thing where everyone else was going to get all dressed up and go with a date. If you choose to not, you won’t get hurt. Gosh, I missed out on a lot of things because of my poor self-image.

Here is the reason I write this, I think I might have to go down a size in pants. For most people, this is the most exciting thing ever. For me, this is awful. I am so scared to try on that smaller pair of pants. What if they don’t fit? What if I have to come to terms that I am still really heavy? What if it makes me go off the deep end and eat an entire box of cookies?

Yes, I know. It sounds crazy. But I’m dead serious. I am terrified. I currently wear a size 18 in jeans. They are too baggy on me, they don’t stay on my waist without a belt. But what if a size 16 is too small? Do I really want to feel awful about myself? Or do I just wait until I literally can’t wear those pants?

I don’t want to miss out on an awesome opportunity but I also don’t want to get hurt.

Help.

Over the Hump

It's been nearly a month now. Maura and I both overcame our plateau this week and dropped a few pounds each. Maura is down to 211 (9 lbs since the beginning) and I'm down to 176 (7 lbs since the beginning). We're both pretty excited with our progress and it definitely fuels the motivation.

Now, as previously mentioned, I'm a bit of a foodie. I enjoy trying new recipes and   experimenting, especially if it's healthy. I've tried a few new recipes this week, but one particularly stood out. I didn't really set out to make it, but there were no complaints. 

Skinny Eggplant Lasagna 

This. Meal. Was. Incredible. By far the best thing that I've made without a recipe. M and I are both big fans of Italian  foods (most of which are awful for you and full of carbs) but I've cracked the code with this one! A serving is only 140 calories and 0 shame. 

I'm so excited to keep on with this journey, watching our bodies transform as we discover and experience new things together. 

Cheers. 

Don't let the plateau get you down

See what I did there? Plateau? Down?

Alright, moving on.

As it turns out, weight plateau is a real thing. I kind of always thought of it as being once you get comfortable with eating healthier, and you start to let things slide a little bit, but that's not necessarily the case. Maura and I have adamantly gone to the gym (or some equally as healthy activity like taking the dog hiking), have cut out almost all carbs (sans the toast for our poached eggs, which we've gone from two slices of whatever to one slice of whole-wheat), and have generally been better about snacking less. But, we've both stalled. Neither of us has dropped another pound.

We're both feeling better, and both feel as though our clothing is fitting a little more comfortably, but there's just something about that number that's pleasing. So I decided to do some research on how to beat that plateau.

I'm a creature of habit. It's not the best, but it's true. I like my things they way they've been. I like my Domino's pizza on Friday nights and my church on Sunday morning, among other things. The same way that I like riding the stationary bike at the gym. But your muscles are smart, and they'll start to become complacent with the same work-out routine. It's important to mix things up, especially doing more weight training during a plateau. Weight training really jump starts caloric burn and is a great change-up to the cardio everyone seems to think is the only way to drop some lbs.

Another option to overcome a plateau is to adjust your nutrition. Changing your calorie intake by 200 for a few days (remember, never stoop below 1,200 calories a day-- no starvation tactics up in here) can help to train your body that you don't need quite as much energy to operate a smaller you.

I'm going to try to start actively doing some of these things. When I go to the gym next, which won't be tonight because I'm using my gym time to push-mow a half acre of obstacles, I'll do some arm strength training. In the meantime, I'll work on editing what I eat and cutting back a little more as to not fall into the trap of discouragement.

Cheers!

Good food, good feelings

I'm sure you've heard it before-  you eat better, you feel better. 

It's a pretty simple concept: eat food that your body is supposed to eat and your body will feel better. If it's that easy, then why is it so freaking hard! 

Becca and I have been watching these terrifying documentaries about how everything processed will give you cancer. And it made me realize... Freaking duh!!! Food that comes from the earth is better for you! 

Think about it this way (whether or not you believe in evolution or creation) we were designed to live off the land. So if our bodies are designed to eat foods with one ingredient, like broccoli or blueberries, then go figure it reacts crazy when you eat foods with disodium insonite (note: my spell check didn't even recognize those as words, which I pulled from the side of a triscuit box). 

Bec and I have been trying to cut those processed foods out of our diet- eating only meats, veggies, and fruits. And I'll be honest, I think my body is still detoxing from the bags or Doritos I have destroyed in my day. But I do feel better. 

We make zucchini noodles instead of using pasta. We make broccoli with no butter or grill up fresh pork. 

Now we haven't gone totally off the deep-end, I do enjoy yogurt with that "strawberry" flavor for lunch. And I also eat a protein bar for lunch. 

I don't know that I will ever join the "Whole30" club or buy organic peaches, but I do try really hard to find those fresh, one ingredient foods to substitute for the chips. So, one step at a time, I guess...

Conveniently Healthy

I think one of the most difficult parts of this transition is conveniently eating healthy. In fact, I think that's a bit of an oxymoron, to be honest. I can't tell you how many times we've been out and thought, "Oh I just want to grab a breakfast sandwich from Wawa," or, "I didn't pull anything out for dinner tonight, we should just stop and get pizza." Sometimes eating healthy isn't all that convenient. I'm learning that it's all about planning.

As much as I love to fly by the seat of my pants (really only with food, I'm a Nazi in most other plannable areas of my life), that's what packs on the pounds. Every week, we need to plan what we want to have for dinner and we need to stick with it. And I think we've done a good job of that so far.

Today, I really do not feel like going to the gym. I've worked from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. and frankly I want to go home, take a shower, and watch a healthy dose of Law & Order. But you know what? I won't. I'll drag myself to the gym and I'll park myself on an elliptical in front of the Food Network and I'll work it. As much as I don't feel up to it, I can't give in and let myself slide. Because then I'll end up off track and maybe not get back on this particular train. Even if it's only for 30 minutes, I need to do it. I committed.

The tagline to my gym is "Be Stronger Than Your Excuses." In all the years I've been trying and failing to lose weight, nothing has quite hit me like that phrase. Mostly because of how true it rings for me. I have every excuse in the book to eat poorly, not go to the gym, and generally be a giant sofaloaf, but there comes a time when you have to be stronger than that. And I will be stronger than my excuses.

why this feels different than the last time

So I've been trying to figure out why this go-round feels different than 40 in '14. Why do I feel like this time is easier? Or that it will be more sustainable this time around?

I think about my motives the last time. I think about how my motto was to be spiritually, physically, and mentally healthy. And I think about how that still remains true to this day. So why does it feel different?

40 in '14 never really came to a close. I never ended that chapter or wrapped it in a pretty bow or gave myself closure or wrote my postlude. I think back on that year and a lot of what I remember makes me cringe. I made some huge mistakes, I said somethings I shouldn't have, and I lost one of my best friends. It was not an easy year. And it wasn't until I was so caught up in my selfishness and couldn't see my way out of it that I was given the gift of a healthy relationship.

So I don't know that 40 in '14 ever really ended or if it just took a plot twist. But there is still something so different about this time around. And I think I may have figured it out.

I mean it seems obvious and may be kind of stupid saying it/making a whole blog post about it. But here it is: I am not in this alone. Every day, throughout the day, I get to talk to someone about what we had for lunch or what we're making for dinner. I get to plan meals throughout the week with someone. I get to cook and try new things with someone. I get to start my life, my true and healthy life, with someone I care about so much. I go to the gym with someone who loves to see me gross and sweaty because it means I worked hard. I'm not trying to impress her (even though I think she checks out my butt when I do squats...)

Bec and I are working so hard. We are trying new things. We are making some amazing meals as well as some not so amazing meals. We are going to the gym and making sure we do at least 20 minutes of constant movement.

This feels different because it is different. I am not alone in this and every day I am thankful for that.

It may not be the most dramatic plot twist ever seen, but it is certainly a memorable one for me.

Fat and happy...for a little while at least

Okay okay okay, so I didn't lose forty pounds in 2014 or even in 2015. I did however gain a bunch of weight.

More importantly though, I finally got to the point in my life where I felt totally, wholly, and completely satisfied with who I am. It took a lot of crazy mistakes, awkward conversations, and putting myself out there to figure it out. But I did. 

Some of you know that I fell in love this past year. And let me tell you, it is a wonderful feeling. I fell in love, moved to the country, bought a dog, and ate and drank to my hearts' content. Which, in the moment, was wonderful. But now that I very obviously spill out of all my clothing I have decided that enough is enough. 

So here is the difference with this blog and the last one. This time, I'm not doing this alone. My love, Rebecca, and I will be wittily working our way through the fat and back into our skinny jeans. 

So far we have discovered some delicious meals, lost 5 pounds a piece, and made it through the weekend without putting any of it back on. 

So there will be some vulnerability, some recipes, some weigh-ins, and some disappointments. But we are asking you, people who believe in us, for your encouragement, and your love, and your advice. 

So here it goes, down to the numbers:

Maura:

Starting weight: 222 lbs.

Goal weight: 150 lbs. 

Current weight: 217 lbs. 

Becca:

Starting weight: 183 lbs. 

Goal weight: 140 lbs. 

Current weight: 179 lbs. 

For those of you who numbers aren't exactly your forte, that boils down to 72 lbs for Maura and 43 lbs for Becca.

Hopefully we will retake this photo in a year and both be 30lbs lighter. And the puppy will actually be looking at the camera.. Here's hopin'!

Two Weeks Strong

It's been about two weeks since we decided to get our shit together.

Frankly, I'm proud of us that we didn't buckle after two days. We had created some pretty bad habits (Just ordering in when we didn't feel like cooking, making butter noodles to watch Netflix with...you get the picture. It wasn't pretty), but we're making some progress. We're learning as we go, checking labels and ingredients before we just dump the contents into our bodies, and growing not only as individuals but as a couple.

The thing is, a lot of the foods that we've been making has kicked our junk food to the curb, taste-wise. We've swapped butter for olive oil in many places, and have chosen to use fresh herbs and spices on meats rather than douse it with barbeque sauce (holy sugar content, batman!). I'm a bit of a foodie as it is, so a lot of my posts will contain pictures of the meals we cook and maybe even some recipes.

We've also gotten a lot better at going to the gym on a regular basis. We first joined last winter, went for a little over a month, and then died off. I think we're both hoping that this blog will keep us on track and help make us accountable for our actions. We both have FitBits (Maura has the Charge and I have the Flex), and we've been using MyFitnessPal religiously. We generally try to go to the gym three times per week, and then sprinkle in other exercise like taking our pup, Penny, for walks or hikes. We've even gone as far as to park more of a distance away from a store so we have a little bit more to walk.

The great news is, without eating out as often, we've been able to save a ton of money and have decided to use our savings to purchase a NutriNinja for breakfast replacement protein shakes, which we both love but don't have the capabilities to make right now.

I can already tell you that we're both feeling a lot better both physically and emotionally and are excited to where this journey will take us.

Sunday mornings will be our weigh-in day, and then depending on the busyness of our weekend, we'll report back in the early part of the week. For this Sunday, however, I'm proud to report that Maura has dropped to 213 and I'm down to 178. I wish my number was a little more dramatic, but I'm trying to remember it's more about toning for me. 

Thanks for being there for us!

Cheers.